A night out after making friends while traveling solo

In October 2016, I finally set off on my first solo trip — to Spain, where I would eventually move two years later. While I was excited about my big adventure, traveling alone for the first time, I had some concerns too. Would I have fun? Would I have to spend all of my time alone? Sure, I enjoy my own company — but there’s something so special about making memories and sharing experiences with friends in foreign lands. I was hoping I wouldn’t miss out on that, despite embarking on the trip by myself. I had no idea what to expect.

Six hours after arriving at the airport in Madrid, I was eating paella for lunch with Daniela from Chile. That night, we went on a tapas tour with a group from our hostel; the next morning, I spent hours talking to Carlos from Toronto in the hostel lobby over breakfast. By the end of the trip, I’d made so many more friends, and this trend has continued on every solo trip I’ve taken since.

Here’s my best advice on how to make friends while traveling solo.

1. Put yourself in social situations

I first started staying at hostels purely out of necessity. (Studying abroad in London on a college budget ain’t cheap.) But when I took my solo trips to Spain and Southeast Asia, I was working a corporate job — meaning I had more disposable income and even hotel points to spend on my travels. But if you want to make friends while traveling solo, you can’t beat hostels. So that’s where I stayed.

A huge portion of the people you’ll meet in hostels are solo travelers, too. A lot are backpacking for a certain amount of time, but others are also on short vacations. If they’ve chosen to stay in that 6- or 8- or even 14-person dorm room, odds are that they’re open to meeting new people.

Some hostels have the reputation of being “party” hostels. Depending on your age and what you want out of your travel experience, this may or may not be a good choice for you. Even if you don’t stay at a party hostel, you’ll still be able to meet people, and you’ll probably get a little more sleep, too. Just read reviews online and try to find hostels that have a friendly atmosphere.

But hostels aren’t the only way to make friends. Try to be conscious of the travel decisions you’re making and whether they lend themselves well to meeting new people. Another example: in Thailand, I could have easily afforded a private “room” for my overnight train to Chiang Mai — but I decided on second-class seats so I wouldn’t be so isolated. I ended up becoming friends with my seat mate, and we spent all night talking and even hung out for the next three days in Chiang Mai.

2. Be a friend to have a friend

I’m not the most naturally outgoing person in the world, especially when it comes to people I don’t know. But traveling alone is very freeing, and sometimes it can give you the confidence to act in ways you probably wouldn’t in your normal life.

One afternoon in Siem Reap, Cambodia, I met a Welsh guy named Will who had been napping in the bunk below mine. We talked for a few minutes and I left to go out into the city. Later that night when I returned back to the hostel, I saw Will sitting with a few guys at the hostel bar. I didn’t have any plans for the evening, so I just went and sat down at their table and introduced myself to the group. They invited me out with them and we spent a fun night with $3 cocktails on Pub Street. (Pictured above.)

Inserting yourself into a group conversation is terrifying. But a lot of times it’s not that hard. All you have to do is strike up a conversation with the people around you. Most travelers are really friendly! If you want friends, you have to be brave enough to take the first step.

3. Say yes

There will be times when you’re presented with an opportunity, and part of you (or most of you) really wants to say no. Maybe… your Airbnb hosts ask if you want to go on a Segway tour with them, but it’s kind of expensive. Or your hostel roommate asks if you want to go get a drink somewhere, but you’re tired and already in your pajamas. Or the guy you met on the overnight train asks if you want to go explore some temples with him, but the shower at the hostel was broken and you’re really self-conscious about how you look (and smell). Or two girls you just met invite you to join their Angkor Wat tour, but you know they’re best friends and you wonder if you’ll feel too much like the third wheel.

Do these situations all seem oddly specific? In case you couldn’t guess, these are all real-life things that happened to me, and I was thiiiiiis close to saying no. “No,” would have been comfortable. “No,” would have been easy. But going against every instinct I had, I decided to say yes. And these moments turned into some of the best memories and best friends I’ve made on my trips.

What other questions or advice do you have to make friends while traveling solo? Leave me a comment!

-Cathy

P.S. Special shout out to Daniela, Will, Yasmin, Camilo, Zairah, Martin, Chris, Will, Lily, and Johanna, if you’re reading this 🙂

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